I can’t wait for the Smurfs movie! Whoops—damn, autotype. I CAN wait. Forever.
Adult: What do u want to be when u grow up? Orphan Annie: A weather girl! Adult: Optimism doesn’t fly in news…
Happy NY everybody! Enjoy 2011, but remember, 300,000 people die everyday.
Bad Idea: Swim Suit Competition at an Inner Beauty Pageant.
Today’s date is all ones! Just like a stripper’s rent payment.
NY Resolution 2011: Take people to dinner first.
NY Resolution 2011: Find healthy forms of communication.
NY Resolution 2011: Ask someone to carry my drugs for me.
NY Resolution 2011: Pass drug test.
NY Resolution 2011: Find replacement hobby instead of photography.
NY Resolution 1992: Stop eating people.
Remember, one man’s junk is another man’s genitals.
Oxymoron: Marijuana Activists.
Just say no to drug dealers. Drugs have no ears.
NY Resolution: Create vaccine for Bieber Fever.